Hello! Today I am reaching out to my online support system. We are looking for a DAN doctor/Biofeedback Doctor near the Colorado area (but we would definitely travel if we need to). Jaxon’s current doctor was using an IQS machine (LOVE THIS MACHINE) for his treatment but she has changed equipment and will no longer be using the IQS. We are looking for recommendations for a new doctor with the same diagnostic equipment. Thank you in advance!
Call it hormones from my current pregnancy, call it that “mommy guilt” that I get at least once a week, call it whatever you want, but today I have cried 3 different times! I have always been a super sensitive person, but after having kids, my eyes seem to fill with tears for the smallest reasons. With Mother’s Day coming up, there have been quite a few letters, poems, blog posts, and messages posted in honor of all the fabulous Mothers out there. Today I came across one that yes, brought tears to my eyes. I found myself relating to many different parts of this post and wanted to share it with you!
As mothers, we are often a lot harder on ourselves than we need to be. We often forget about all the little things we do that go unnoticed, all the big things that get rolled under the carpet as “just part of the job” things. This Mother’s Day I am making it a point to feel good about myself, feel good about all I have done for my children, and take a moment or two to just sit and reflect on it all...I challenge you to do the same. Make a list in your head of ten things that you do for your children that make them better children and you a better mom!
Thank You Lea For Your Letter Today! You can find the original at the link below.
I've seen you around. I've seen you screaming at your kids in public, I've seen you ignoring them at the playground, I've seen you unshowered and wearing last night's pajama pants at preschool drop-off. I've seen you begging your children, bribing them, threatening them. I've seen you shouting back and forth with your husband, with your mom, with the police officer at the crosswalk.
I've seen you running around with your kids, getting dirty and occasionally swearing audibly when you bang a knee. I've seen you sharing a milkshake with a manic 4-year-old. I've seen you wiping your kids' boogers with your bare palm, and then smearing them on the back of your jeans. I've seen you carry your toddler flopped over the crook of your arm while chasing a runaway ball.
I've also seen you gritting your teeth while your kid screamed at you for making him practice piano, or soccer, or basket weaving or whatever it was. I've seen you close your eyes and breathe slowly after finding a gallon of milk dumped into your trunk. I've seen you crying into the sink while you desperately scrub crayon off your best designer purse. I've seen you pacing in front of the house.
I've seen you at the hospital waiting room. I've seen you at the pharmacy counter. I've seen you looking tired and frightened.
I've seen a lot of you, actually.
I see you every single day.
I don't know if you planned to be a parent or not. If you always knew from your earliest years that you wanted to bring children into the world, to tend to them, or if motherhood was thrust upon you unexpectedly. I don't know if it meets your expectations, or if you spent your first days as a mom terrified that you would never feel what you imagined "motherly love" would feel like for your child. I don't know if you struggled with infertility, or with pregnancy loss, or with a traumatic birth. I don't know if you created your child with your body, or created your family by welcoming your child into it.
But I know a lot about you.
I know that you didn't get everything that you wanted. I know that you got a wealth of things you never knew you wanted until they were there in front of you. I know that you don't believe that you're doing your best, that you think you can do better. I know you are doing better than you think.
I know that when you look at your child, your children, you see yourself. And I know that you don't, that you see a stranger who can't understand why the small details of childhood that were so important to you are a bother to this small person who resembles you.
I know that you want to throw a lamp at your teenager's head sometimes. I know you want to toss your 3-year-old out the window once in a while.
I know that some nights, once it's finally quiet, you curl up in bed and cry. I know that sometimes, you don't, even though you wanted to.
I know that some days are so hard that all you want is for them to end, and then at bedtime your children hug you and kiss you and tell you how much they love you and want to be like you, and you wish the day could last forever.
But it never does. The day always ends, and the next day brings new challenges. Fevers, heartbreak, art projects, new friends, new pets, new fights. And every day you do what you need to do.
You take care of things, because that's your job. You go to work, or you fill up the crock pot, or you climb into the garden, or strap the baby to your back and pull out the vacuum cleaner.
You drop everything you're doing to moderate an argument over whose turn it is to use a specifically colored marker, or to kiss a boo-boo, or to have a conversation about what kind of lipstick Pinocchio's Mommy wears.
I know that you have tickle fights in blanket forts, and that you have the words to at least eight different picture books memorized. I've heard that you dance like a wild woman when it's just you and them. That you have no shame about farting or belching in their presence, that you make up goofy songs about peas and potatoes and cheese.
I know that an hour past bedtime, you drop what you're doing and trim the fingernail that your 3-year-old insists is keeping her up. I know that you stop cleaning dishes because your kids insist you need to join their tea party. I know you fed your kids PB&J for four days straight when you had the flu. I know that you eat leftover crusts over the sink while your kids watch "Super Why."
I know you didn't expect most of this. I know you didn't anticipate loving somebody so intensely, or loathing your post-baby body so much, or being so tired or being the mom you've turned out to be.
You thought you had it figured out. Or you were blind and terrified. You hired the perfect nanny. Or you quit your job and learned to assemble flat-packed baby furniture. You get confused by the conflict of feeling like nothing has changed since you were free and unfettered by children, and looking back on the choices you made as though an impostor was wearing your skin.
You're not a perfect mom. No matter how you try, no matter what you do. You will never be a perfect mom.
And maybe that haunts you. Or maybe you've made peace with it. Or maybe it was never a problem to begin with.
No matter how much you do, there is always more. No matter how little you do, when the day is over, your children are still loved. They still smile at you, believing you have magical powers to fix almost anything. No matter what happened at work, or at school, or in playgroup, you have still done everything in your power to ensure that the next morning will dawn and your children will be as happy, healthy, and wise as could possibly be hoped.
There's an old Yiddish saying: "There is one perfect child in the world, and every mother has it."
Unfortunately, there are no perfect parents. Your kids will grow up determined to be different than you. They will grow up certain that they won't make their kids take piano lessons, or they'll be more lenient, or more strict, or have more kids, or have fewer, or have none at all.
No matter how far from perfect you are, you are better than you think.
Someday your kids will be running around like crazy people at synagogue and concuss themselves on a hand rail, and somebody will still walk up to you and tell you what a beautiful family you have. You'll be at the park and your kids will be covered in mud and jam up to the elbows, smearing your car with sugary cement, and a pregnant lady will stop and smile at you wistfully.
No matter how many doubts you might have, you never need doubt this one thing: You are not perfect.
And that's good. Because really, neither is your child. And that means nobody can care for them the way you can, with the wealth of your understanding and your experience. Nobody knows what your child's squall means, or what their jokes mean, or why they are crying better than you do.
And since no mother is perfect, chances are you are caught in a two billion way tie for Best Mom in the World. Congratulations, Best Mom in the World. You're not perfect. You are as good as anybody can get.
I hope everyone is having a fabulous start to their weekend! The first weekend in May…oh my, where has the time gone!! Today I have a question for y’all! I have such a great group of moms reading my blog and hope that someone can give me some idea’s to avoid or stop these horrible migraines I have been getting.
I am in my last trimester and have had a migraine or severe headache every week for the past 3 weeks now. I am definitely limited on what I can take, and to be honest, I don’t really like taking anything while pregnant, but when you have 2 little boys who need constant attention it makes life with a migraine really hard. Last week my husband had a different schedule at work and was able to help out quite a bit, but usually it is just me, fending for myself and so I am asking y’all for ideas!
I avoid my trigger foods; I try to drink plenty of water, but sleep, that is a joke right now. The more I try to sleep the less sleep I actually get. I have heard that magnesium everyday can help but wanted to know if anyone has actually tired it and gotten results. I am open to all suggestions! Thank you in advance, I absolutely can’t keep spending so much time laying in the dark with an ice pack on my head!
Again, thank you in advance for you ideas!
Happy May Day Everyone!!
It is so hard to believe that it is May already. I have been busy preparing for baby #3, catching up on homework with Jaxon, and getting the house in somewhat of an order for our company that will be arriving tomorrow! A friend sent me a picture today that I thought I needed to share with y'all! Enjoy!
This picture was put together by the Military Special Needs Network! Sorry it was cut off a bit on the side, but is still awesome!!
Diagnose. Educate. Advocate. Live.
Just when I think I am getting ahead I hit a bump in the road! The day started out great, I was planning to get dinner in the Crockpot (luckily I did), then write an article for Generation Rescue, find an awesome article to share with y’all, clean the house a bit, and then spend some time at the pool with my little man before picking Jaxon up and heading out for haircuts…and then everything changed.
The OB had a mix up with my lab work on Monday so I ended up back in downtown at the doctor’s office today…for four hours (with driving time) and I had to pick Carter up early from school and take him with me! He was really good for the most part, but it was frustrating to sit and wait and yada yada all over again. Luckily we got things squared away; I have a couple new meds, and hopefully will be feeling much better by the end of the weekend! As soon as I got home it was time to take the boys for their haircuts and then spend some family time at the pool. So here it is 6:30 P.M. and I am finally bringing you a cute picture of my 7 year old, who wasn’t supposed to be able to swim on his own, let alone, try and teach his brother how to swim. It just goes to show you that Autism doesn’t have to control you or your abilities.
Enjoy your weekend!
Diagnose. Educate. Advocate. Live.
Autism Day 25, wow, the day kind of got away from me. I awoke at 5:30 to my husband’s blaring alarm only to NOT fall back asleep…I got up and fixed the kids breakfast, made school lunch, showered, and sat in the dark waiting for someone, anyone else to wake up. After rushing around to make it out the door for Jaxon’s early reading lab, Carter and I went to the car wash and vacuumed out my car and then headed to his appointment with the dentist…his first filling (and hopefully his last). The afternoon was filled with birthday party supply shopping, lunch (milk shakes for the kid with the numb mouth…and one for mommy too, why not?) then car line followed by speech therapy and homework…whew. Now that it is time to start dinner I figured I would hop on the computer and post my blog!
As I was sitting in the waiting room at the dental office I came across this picture and I immediately knew I was going to share this with you today! I could not have said it any better myself, and I have said each of these things many times since becoming a parent.
I have said SO many times that putting my children's well-being and happiness is a something I do every day, I don't even have to chose to do it anymore, it is just a given, and they know this!
I have had to teach them hard lessons more times than I would have ever imagined and believe it or not, these lessons are usually harder on me than them...and again, they usually know this by the tears in my eyes and look on my face.
Doing the right thing is a constant struggle for me. Raising a child with Autism comes with so many tough decisions that half of the time I don't know whether I am coming or going...I must keep going anyway. I question every decision, and then question the questions of the decision. Eventually I prove to myself that the decision I made was the right one, or the best one under the circumstances, but it is still very hard.
Forgiveness is probably something I remind myself to do every day. I know that I am doing my best with Jaxon, and I know that I have made countless mistakes with both of my children, but the most important thing to remember is to show forgiveness so that you teach your children how to forgive.
Diagnose. Educate. Advocate. Live.
Today marks 24 days of Autism Awareness. For those of you raising a child with Autism it is just another day! For me, it is another day to tell you an amazing story of recovery (in my opinion).
Last night Jaxon was in a hurry to get his pj’s on so he could climb into my bed and watch Diary of a Wimpy kid (it was on the family channel I believe). Anyway, he hurried into his room after his shower and flung open his drawer…and pulled it off the track. For any NORMAL dresser this wouldn’t be a problem, but for Jaxon’s dresser it was…his dresser isn’t designed to come off the track and every time (yes there have been multiple times) he does this my dad has to make a trip to Lowes to get parts to put it back together.
Trying to keep mommy patience in mind, I mumbled something about respect under my breath, put the drawer back in as best as I could (to now match the other 2 broken drawers) and walked out of his room. Being the sensitive boy Jaxon is, he got his pj’s on and came to apologize to me. He sat there and began to ask me to explain RESPECT to him…ahhh, what a moment, I was beyond proud of him. We discussed respect for the next few minutes and then he went off to watch his movie. A little while later he brought me the most amazing picture he had drawn me while sitting in bed. It was a note to show how much he loves and respects me and that he was sorry….talk about melting my heart! At this point I was so proud of him; so many things came to mind…communication, understanding, comprehension, language, art work, compassion, and empathy…YAY!!!
For those of you in the process of recovering your children, stay patient, keep working hard, and you will eventually get the results that you have hoped for!
Diagnose. Educate. Advocate. Live.
Welcome to Autism Awareness Day 23!!
HEAL! Autism Zoo Walk 2013
This year there were over 1000 participants at the 5th Annual HEAL! Autism walk and we raised over $50,000! Together, with the Jacksonville Jaguar football team and cheerleaders, we had a blast. It was easy going and when my son had a melt down due to the noisy monkeys, no one looked at us like we were weird or like my son was out of control. The boys and their Aunt Cathy, as well as a speech therapist from Logan’s school and her daughter walked. Everyone there was either a parent of a child with Autism, or works with Autistic children. We look forward to the zoo walk each year, as both of my boys receive scholarships from HEAL! for their medical treatment from their DAN doctor, and it is a way to give back.
Thanks to everyone who came out to support this great organization,
Lynna Kay Parker
I would like to thank the Parker family for sharing their experience with us, their support for Autism as well as AutismDEAL.
Diagnose. Educate. Advocate. Live.
When Jaxon "lost" his normal speech, he began using what is called Echolalia instead of normal speech. At first I didn’t think too much of it, at times it was somewhat “cute” that he was calling me Jill instead of Mom, but after a while we finally realized that something was wrong. Of course from the time we realized something was wrong…and then convinced the doctors that something was wrong…we lost almost a year of developing language.
My advice to anyone out there experiencing a delay in language, a setback in language, or “unusual” language such as Echolalia…get them evaluated as soon as possible and don’t stop until you feel comfortable with the results. You are your child’s best advocate; they need you to speak for them when they are unable to speak for themselves
The last two days reminded me of how anything can happen when you are pregnant. I have not been feeling very good this weekend and in return have not been on the computer. I will hopefully return tomorrow after my OB aptointment feeling better and ready to share some great posts with y'all!