Do you pay your children for doing chores?  Brent and I feel like we are almost at the end of our rope.  We have tried our hardest to raise our boys to be appreciative and respectful…and some days we sit back and wonder what went wrong.  Ok, so not every day is like this, for the most part our boys are very appreciative and they are definitely respectful, but I feel like they could do better.  Yes, in my mind I am imagining these two little boys who clean up after themselves, use their inside voices every day, and never talk back or fight with each other…ok, yes..too much.  Well, I would settle for a tiny bit of each of those qualities, after all, I want children, not robots.  

So, this weekend (while holding on to the end of my rope) I decided to try a new tactic. Since begging and pleading hasn’t been working lately, I decided I would try bribing…or rather paying them for doing their chores. I started it by giving them each $.25 for “making a happy plate” an  putting their scraps in the trash, plates in the sink, and pushing in their chairs.  This worked like a charm; Jaxon even told me how excited he was to “make money”.  I followed this by asking them to bring me their laundry baskets for an extra $.05…again, charm!  Tonight they will get another $.05 for helping Brent collect the trash, and their regular $.25 for their dinner duties.  

It might sound like I am paying them for doing the things they should be doing anyway, but I am choosing to look at it in a different way....instead of getting one allowance at the end of the week they are being rewarded “in the moment” and that helps them to keep up with their chores.  They take their money (with a huge smile) and take it straight to their piggy banks. As they get older I’m sure we will change things up a bit, but for right now, with them being 3 and 7 (with ASD) immediate rewards get better results than giving them an IOU.  I would also like to add that doing this has taken a little stress off of Brent and I and our house is calmer and happier!  I would love to hear your thoughts and how you handle allowances and chores.

I thought I would write about Mommy things today!  At the bottom you will find a couple online shopping spots that might make your Christmas shopping a little more budget friendly this year!  I have stumbled on a few favorite websites lately thanks to some fellow friends and bloggers and wanted to share them with you! 

100 Days of Real Food offers lots of ideas if you are looking to cut processed foods out of your diet!  They also have lots of “product favorites”that talk about various products you can use to make your own snacks, foods, and school lunches.  I highly recommend you take a look if you are interested in “greening up” you menu!

A good friend of mine, fellow mommy and military spouse over aThe Spotted Lamb has a great Etsy store where you can purchase homemade (one of a kind) quilts and key fobs (she is the designer of my wonderful Autism Awareness Fobs).  Erin is delightful to work with can design almost any type of quilt or key fob you are looking for!

A few months ago I stumbled onto Zulily, a site where you can shop brand name items at a tremendous discount.  I have purchased things on this site from time to time and have been very satisfied with my items.  I have one complaint about the website…no returns.  I am sure this policy is set because of the huge discounts they offer, but sometimes it makes me hesitant to buy from them.  I try to stick to things I know will work…kids’ clothes, sunglasses, kitchen items, toys, and decorations.  I have friends who have purchased shoes and clothes for themselves and have been completely satisfied.  Check our Zulily if you are looking for a deal this season while Christmas shopping!

Another discounted (and who doesn’t love buying your favorite brands at a discount??) shopping site I have just learned about (thanks to my friend at The Spotted Lamb) is 6pm, I have not purchased anything yet but I have my eye on a few different things!  I can guarantee that this is going to be my new favorite shopping site (for clothes and shoes at least) as they offer a 14 day return policy, and they carry brands that I know will work for me!  You should definitely check this site out if you are looking to update your wardrobe, they even do online gift certificates...can you say Merry Christmas to me?  This is one gift I know I wouldn't want to return!

With Christmas just around the corner, I can’t help but want to get ready early this year!  We have always said we weren’t going to go crazy with gifts yet we always end up getting the boys too many things (they don’t seem to mind).  Anyway, this year we really are going to cut back and not spend as much money on toys that they most likely will forget about in a couple days.  I went to Toys R Us the other day and Carter and I (PLEASE NOTE, IT WAS NOT A GOOD IDEA TO TAKE A 3 YEAR OLD TO A TOY STORE WITH NO INTENTION OF LEAVING THE STORE WITH A TOY!) picked out 4 toys for him and 4 toys for Jaxon. Since Jaxon is really only into a few things; Star Wars, costumes, and Red Coat Soldiers it was fairly easy to get 4 things for him.  Well, then a few days later the good ole’ “toy book” came in the mail from AAFES (military store) and of course Jaxon saw it (he gets the mail everyday) and went completely nuts telling me every toy on every page that he is going to ask Santa for…it was time to have a little talk.  The only problem, sometimes trying to explain things to a child with autism is somewhat difficult.

This is what I did, I gave him a pen and let him circle the most important toys.  Then I had him make a list (I know that this isn’t possible for every child on the spectrum, but Jaxon is able to write fairly well so I wanted to try it out) out of the toys he circled 5 toys that he simply HAD to have. He really sat and thought about it for a long time and did a great job!  I explained to him that Santa can only bring so many toys in his sleigh and so every boy and girl will only get 1 or 2 things from Santa and then a couple things from Mom and Dad (we always get new shoes, socks, PJ’s and such and wrap them up too so that it looks like they have more presents than they really do).  He seemed to be ok with this.  I told him that we would send his list to Santa and that Santa would look it over and see what was available in his workshop…again, seemed to work.  Oh, and did I mention that none of the toys that I got him were in that book…GREAT, (since then his Grandma got him two of the items, so I think we are going to be ok) so I went to Amazon (online) and "showed" him a cople of things that I thought he "might like"....since they were already on layaway where they would be secured as gifts but I didn't need to find hiding places for them yet...he was definitely on board with my choices!  

I keep reminding him (especially after every toy commercial) that we already made our list and that we can’t get everything we see…sometimes being a kid is just as hard as being a parent. I am sure that he will be very excited on Christmas morning when he get  a few of the most important things he asked for   and not be so overwhelmed with a lot of little things like we have gotten in the past. I am so excited to be nearly done with my Christmas shopping, what about you?

I don’t know about your children, but mine could (and sometimes do) dress up in costumes on a daily basis.  The only thing that sets Halloween out from any other day (other than all the spooky decorations) is the candy.  Call me a Halloween-Grinch, but I do not look forward to the kids going out and collecting candy every year.  I am a stickler when it comes to feeding the boys sugar and candy so having any extra in the house is just torture for them and makes me a “mean mommy” because I don’t let them eat it.  Up until this year we have always done the “swap”with Jaxon’s candy (and Carter’s too, but his doesn’t usually amount to much).  We would tell him we needed to check his candy and Brent would swap the bag with a bag of organic, gluten free treats.  He never really noticed the difference but I am afraid it is going to be harder this year…which brings me to my nextpoint, the Switch Witch.

I read about a few different options to get rid of all this unwanted Halloween candy…selling it to the dentist, giving it away, but I think the idea that is going to work for my kids is the idea of the Switch Witch.  I will tell them the following story…

The Halloween Story of the Switch Witch

The Switch Witch lives far away and of all the witches that come around on Halloween night, she has the sweetest tooth of all. She eats almost nothing but candy all year long. So that she always has a stockpile of candy to last throughout the year, she comes around on Halloween night and gathers candy from houses with
kids who are generous enough to leave their candy out for her.

What child would be generous to leave out their candy for some witch you ask? Well, the kind of child that likes to get new toys because that's what the Switch Witch does. She'll only come around after all the children are asleep because she doesn't want anyone to see her; all the candy that she eats makes her face
look a bit scary. For every child who leaves out candy for her, she leaves them a new toy in exchange.

With my kids, on Halloween night, after the trick-or-treating is done, the candy is laid out on the floor and we let them choose around 10 candies each to keep. They are given one or two a day to enjoy until it runs out. The rest of the candy is put in a bag and left out for the Switch Witch. The next morning when the children wake up, they excitedly run downstairs to see what the Switch Witch left them.

http://lilyrose.hubpages.com/hub/halloween-stories-the-switch-witch

This is exactly what I am going to do this year!  They are going to pick out 10 pieces of candy to keep and leave the rest for the Switch Witch.  We have actually gone Trick-or-Treating 3! times so far this year…the most Halloween parties we have ever been to in one year, all before Halloween night!  Are you going to keep all your Halloween candy or do something special to haul it out of the house?  Here are a few pictures of our little guys this year!

Recently, a friend of ours invited Jaxon to the local children’s art studio to paint.  I really didn’t even give it a second thought before saying yes.  As we were on our way to the art studio I started to get nervous.  Jaxon has painted at home, but mostly just more abstract style, paint all different colors all over the paper type of painting; he hadn’t ever actually painted a ceramic item…especially one we had to pay for. I decided that there is a first time for everything…so let’s paint!

Jaxon did a fabulous job! He was focused, he was excited, and he worked very hard to get his painting absolutely perfect.  Of course he chose a spooky skull…and then painted it red and blue (bringing back some Grateful Dead memories) but I bit my tongue, and let him work his magic!  Being a parent to a special needs child has taught me many things, but patience is probably one of the most important skills I have learned from Jaxon. 

We have now made painting a weekly activity in our house.  Jaxon painted a Gnome a few weeks ago for his Uncle as a Christmas gift…it was his idea and the paint colors were completely his choice.  Painting seems to be bringing out a more imaginative, creative side of Jaxon.  We have also been painting little pumpkins at home; this allows Carter to join in without having to pay out a lot of money.  I am so glad we dove into this new activity.  After doing some research (for that Google degree) I found that a lot of children with autism  (Autism and Art) (and other special needs) are using art as a form of therapy (Art Therapy).  I will be searching like crazy for as many art activities that combine everyday first-grade skills in them for Jaxon from now on.  My recommendation is that you “get creative” with your children and let them bring out their own artistic abilities…it is worth it, trust me!

I cannot say enough how much I love Disney World! They have been so accommodating to Jaxon with his autism and gluten free diet.  As a family with a special needs child, it can sometimes be nearly impossible to take a vacation or even a day trip and not constantly worry about how everything will fall into place.  Well, at Disney World, (Accommodations) we don’t even have to worry anymore!  We can make dining reservations at any restaurant in the park and a chef comes directly to our table and lets us know what we can order for Jaxon.  Some of the chef’s have made his meals so neat and interesting that he actually wanted to eat something different than the rest of us.  We have also found a bunch of restaurants that go out of their way to make gluten free items that look exactly like all the other food so Jaxon doesn’t even notice.  

As far as the lines, the waiting, and accommodations, Disney World has blown us away in those areas as well. Since we live in Florida and have an annual pass, we are able to get a “stroller as a wheelchair” sticker for the stroller and they date it for 3 months at a time so we don’t have to get a new one each time we go.  We also get a Guest Assistance Card that allows us to take Jaxon through the fast pass line if he is having a rough day and can’t wait in line.  Yes, we have gotten quite a few nasty looks while using this pass (from other guests) and each time I want to tell them that I would gladly wait in line for an hour to go on the ride if that meant my child didn’t have to deal with what he does on a daily basis.  My husband and I used to feel so guilty about getting this card that we didn’t even used to get it.  Now, we think of it like this…Jaxon has to make so many sacrifices on a daily basis that most kids don’t have to so we will use the GAC when Jaxon needs it and just be thankful that Disney offers us this option.  

So, in conclusion, I highly recommend a trip to Disney World if you are looking for something to do with your family and have a child with special needs.  I have not been paid by Disney (although I wish I was) to write this post, I am just a very satisfied guest and would love others to experience the magic the way we have!

Please check out All Ears review on getting accommodations at Disney World!  Take a peek below at a couple of the Gluten Free meals Jaxon has enjoyed at Disney World. 

You can see a few other pictures of our gluten free meals served to us at Disney World by clicking HERE.

Today I thought I would talk a little bit about pressure points.  I have suffered from migraines for so long that I can’t remember a time when I didn’t suffer from them!  I have tried a ton of different medications but honestly, the best and “healthiest” form of relief I have found is acupressure and massage.  It seems like the more medication I try the worse I feel.  Don’t get me wrong, sometimes medication is absolutely necessary to kick a bad migraine, but if I catch it in time, I can use various pressure points and head to my massage therapist and feel better quickly! 

This weekend we took the boys down to Disney World for the day.  Let’s just say that they day did not start out so well.  Jaxon was in a “mood”,I have no idea what started it or why, but he just wasn’t feeling like himself.  It seems like he has been having days here and there where he doesn’t want to listen and then when he gets in trouble he is very hard on himself… which in turn leads to even more of a breakdown.  Anyway, early afternoon we were sitting at Mama Melrose (they offer gluten free options) for lunch and he just could not get control of himself. He was misbehaving…getting in trouble…then acting out because he got in trouble…getting in trouble again…etc.  All of a sudden it kind of just hit me...and I decided to have him come and sit on my lap and I started giving him a massage. I knew that the top of the head was a good point for depression/anxiety/stress so I started there, then I moved on to his back  shoulders, wrists, and legs.  It worked like magic people…seriously…I was in shock, I’m not even sure why I was in shock because I know in the back of my head how therapeutic pressure ca  be.  

So, do me a favor, if you have a child with special needs  whether it be Autism, ADHD, Asperger’s, etc. check out some basic acupressur  points and try using them (if your child will let you touch them, I know some are very sensitive to that) when they are having an issue with behavior, whether it be emotional, physical, or both, I am interested to know if this will work well for others!

Ok, let’s talk about digestion today!  My husband wasn’t “sold” on everything that our biomedical doctor was doing with my son so I decided to do a little experiment on him.  Like a good sport, he played along!  He began taking digestive enzymes (per our doctor’s recommendation) along with some probiotics, and continued eating the same foods he normally eats.  Now, he would probably kill me for saying this, but he has always struggled with digestion problems, there are a lot of foods that don’t agree with him, but like most individuals, he just can’t stay away. Anyway, a few weeks went by and he noticed that he was feeling better  less bloated, less bathroom activity, more energy…yay…I created another health nut!  

Of course he still wasn’t “sold” on the fact that taking a few pills everyday could actually make him feel better.  I bit my tongue and continued on with my experiment.  Well, the last few days he has been complaining of being tired again, being in the bathroom multiples times a day, feeling sluggish and bloated…my response “have you been taking your supplements?”  He looked away for a minute and responded “umm, no, I ran out about a week ago…” I think he is now a believer!

So, why does a person need digestive enzymes?  Well, to put this as simple as possible, when you eat anything…your body breaks the food down into smaller pieces and those pieces each have a job…create energy, restore tissue, cleanse the body, etc.  For some people, the process of breaking down specific foods (lactose, carbohydrates, proteins, fats, fiber) is difficult and can cause problems in your digestive tract, which can cause the rest of your system to be inefficient.  This is where digestive enzymes come in…they aid in breaking food particles down so your body can use the nutrients properly.  

Now, it is my opinion that not all digestive enzymes are created equal…my family has been through quite a few different enzymes at various times in the last few years.  I suggest you find a good nutritionist or someone who specializes in natural medicine and find out which type of enzyme you need! Below are a couple sites that talk about the benefits of digestive enzymes.

http://www.livestrong.com/article/418354-how-to-take-digestive-enzymes/http://www.womentowomen.com/digestionandgihealth/functionsofdigestiveenzymes.aspx                   
 


  

***This post is a collaboration of my thoughts and opinions, there is no scientific evidence (that I have found anyway) to supports these ideas.***

Jaxon has always been a very animated/dramatic child.  He LOVES to watch movies and then not only tell us about them, but act out the scenes! If he watches a movie for the second (third, fourth…) time he can almost tell you what the characters are going to say before they even say it…word for word…it’s like he has a photographic memory…selectively that is! 

Jaxon is also very emotional and sensitive.  He is very “in tune” with not only his feelings, but with others as well.  I like to think that this is a great quality and I am very proud to be raising a child who really “cares” about others feelings. His teachers will tell me how wonderful he is and what a great friend/helper he is…this is AWESOME news to a mom who is not expecting to hear this type of feedback! 

Anyway, I am starting to feel/believe that Jaxon doesn’t understand what others are feeling/going through, but he is almost living it himself right along with them.  Does that make sense?  Ok, for example, when a child see’s his friend get hurt he will most likely feel sympathy for them, right?  Well, I think when Jaxon see’s his friend get hurt he actually feels like he got hurt as well, feels it to his core??  This may make me sound like a crazy person, but I truly believe this. 

Another example...When my husband deployed two years ago, he told Jaxon that he needed to be the big boy and take care of his brother and me...Jaxon took this so literal that he refused to leave my side anytime I had a migrane, (my parents lived next door and would take the baby when I was sick but Jaxon would not go with them) he insisted that it was his job to take care of me until I felt better! 

Does anyone else with a child diagnosed with ASD feel this way…please chime in!!   

How do you deal with snacking? My three- year old can eat a meal (or not eat it in some cases) and then in ten minutes come to me and ask for a snack. The majority of the time he asks for something healthy like grapes, apples, or oranges, but occasionally he will ask for cookies or fruit snacks.  I’m at the point where I don’t know what to do, I feel bad if he really is hungry (a growing spurt maybe?) but I also don’t like him to snack all day and then not eat his dinner at night.  When do you say no to snacks and when do you give in?

On the other hand, my seven-year old eats in "spurts" if that makes sense.  I really have a hard time telling him "no" when he wants a snack.  He takes various supplements throughout the day and I feel like some of them make him 'more hungry' than he normally would be.  However, he is so tall and skinny that I also feel like he needs the nutrition, even if he really doesn't...I'm not an M.D. so I usually just give him a snack (a healthy one) and then remind him that he still needs to eat his dinner.  What do you do about snacking with your child (diagnosed with ASD)?

I found a great article about The Best Snacks which is a great tool if you are looking for some different, yet healthy snacks to feel your little ones. Here is some good advice about snacking from Registered dietitian Samantha Heller…

Advice for Parents on Scaling Back Snacking
Heller says there are things parents can do to limitsnacking.

Don't let your children snack out of habit. Make sure they are actually hungry.
"If you're snacking just after dinner, you're not hungry," Heller said. "They just feel like eating, and it's fun."

Put your money where your mouth is.
"You can't have a parent eating doughnut holes and telling your kid to eat carrots," Heller said. "That won't work."

Stop stocking your kitchen with bad snacks.
"When it's yogurt, chocolate pudding or apples, who is going to win?"Heller asked. "Well, the chocolate pudding will always win out every time. So A, I wouldn't give the child a choice, and B, I don't think I would have the pudding or the cookies in the house."  Take away the unhealthy temptations, Heller says, and kids will embrace the healthy ones.


I am glad to know that I am not the only one who worries about what (and how much) my children put in their mouths.  I think it is important to feed a growing child, but I don’t want them to “overdo it” just because they “think”they are hungry.  For me, it seems like a fine line between wanting to snack and needing to snack.  For now, I guess I will just stick to my “gut”instinct! 

Our Favorite GF snacks...
Apples with or without peanut butter
Oranges
Bananas
Glutino pretzels (or pretzel sticks)
Pieces of organic cheddar cheese cut into cubes
Homemade popcicles (an afternoon snack)
Yogurt
Homemade applesauce
Slices of nitrate-free lunch meat